Lullabies

You can tell some things about a person by the kind of music they are listening to at 3:30 in the morning.  When you're in high school or college, you're usually listening to some Phish or Dave Matthews live cuts at 3:30 am.  When you are 32 and trying (rather unsuccessfully) to feed your daughter with a bottle for the first time, you listen to the soothing tones of Norah Jones. 

That's the situation Addie and I found ourselves in last night:  3:30 am, planted in the rocker in Addison's room, Daddy trying to coax Addison to drink from a bottle for the first time.  Unfortunately, despite the serene harmonies of Ms. Jones (like Addie, a Texan), the bottle feeding did not go smashingly.  While Addie did get some milk down, its safe to say that a good amount of it also went down her cheek and her chin and Daddy.  And worse, I don't think my taking a feeding had the desired effect of giving Mandi more sleep, since I am fairly certain Addison's intermittent crying had Mandi sufficiently on edge to prevent rest.  Oh well, Addie and I will just have to keep practicing until we get it right.

The observation about music choices does bring to mind some thoughts about the change in perspective that occured (and is occuring) upon Addison's arrival.  Certainly there is a powerful, almost overwhelming, bonding between parent and child.  I can feel that, and I can see it in Mandi whenever she looks at the baby girl.  But I am also feeling such a great sense of responsibility -- but a responsibility different than I have felt in the past.  Growing up (and even into adulthood), I think many people think of responsibilities as burdens, weights that drag them down and prevent them from doing the things they would otherwise like to be doing.  School and chores are responsibilities; work, balancing your budget and eating right are adult responsibilities.  We accept them, but we don't necessarily like them.  So far, though, it seems like the responsibility of caring for Addison is....fun. 

I saw a friend of ours when I was walking the dogs yesterday morning, and he asked how things were on the home front.  He looked surprised when I said that it was fun.  But I think that is an apt description, there is something enjoyable about doing things for the baby that distinguishes those tasks from "obligations," even at 3:30 in the morning.  (Though, admittedly, its easy to forget how much fun you're having at that hour!) Maybe that sense of joy will change as the routine (and sleep deprivation) sets in.  Maybe, as the tasks get harder and she is causing more trouble, my responsibilities will feel more like jobs that I have to do.  But for now, I am enjoying having this innocent newborn to care for.  If for no other reason than that, Addison and I will probably be giving it another shot with the bottle and listening to Norah Jones again tonight.

Its Saturday, I'm in Love

I realize the Cure song lyric ascribes love to Friday, but the calendar is not cooperating and, frankly, there is no other way to describe what is going on in our house now.  Its love, love, love, all the time.  Little Addison has adjusted well to being at home, and we have had a series of great firsts all week.  First bath, first time in her swing, first time in her bouncer, and, this morning, first time sleeping in her crib!  In addition, we have some more family guests as Aunt Emily, Uncle Kevin, and cousins Lily and Jadon made the trip in from Round Rock to visit Addie in her first week.  Plus we have Bubbi and Zadie here and Mimi has been over! Safe to say, Addie and family are feeling the love.

Mommy has been nothing short of outstanding.  She has jumped into motherhood feet first.  She is nursing every 1 to 2 hours, except for the occassional stretches when Addie sleeps a little longer.  More than anything, she has so bonded with Addison.  There is a palpable mother-daughter connection between them that you can see even when Mandi is just holding her.  From the outside, it is a sight to behold.  I can only imagine the love that flows between them.

From my perspective, I am still marveling at what I feel for this little girl that doesn't talk, can't see me, and does nothing but eat, sleep and poop.  She could do nothing but lay there for the rest of her life and it would not change what I feel for her one bit.  Its a totally different kind of love compared to what I thought of as love.  Its unconditional.  Its pure.  And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Next week is a whole new batch of firsts.  First day without the grandparents providing a safety net, first day of work for me, soon, first doctor's appointment.  Everything is a first for Addie and she is giving us a continuous stream of our own firsts.  I guess kids do make you young again.  And I love it.

D-Day +1!!!!!

Coming to you live from the 6th floor of Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston, Texas at 4:21 am, its baby Addison and the Penny family!  Yes, Addie has decided it is time to join the family and her preciousness knows no bounds.  Baby came into the world yesterday at 5:45 p.m. after Mandi spent about 9 hours in labor (the last two of which were the real pushing).  Unfortunately for Momma (and Aunt Emily who was scared by the screaming) the epidural didn't entirely take effect and Mandi was intensely present for much of the delivery.  But baby and mommy survived, and now it makes for a great story!

Addie came into this world at 8 lbs 4 oz, and has since lost about half a pound (she has to protect her girlish figure already apparently).  She has beautiful gray-blue eyes and a nice mop of straight, dark hair.  Her face was a little puffy around the eyes, and it looks like she may have the fabled Penny nose, but despite my genes she is precious beyond belief.  While I will spare the world of the Interwebs much of the gory details, she is eating great and is ahead of the game when it comes to .... um ... doing her business.  I can see a glimpse of my life for the next, oh, six months, where the highlight of my day is not that the Texas Longhorns basketball team had a great victory against Oklahoma State but the fact that my daughter ate a lot and made big poopy diapers!

Mandi got some much needed rest tonight, and Daddy had his first real stretch flying solo with Addie.  It was a wonderful bonding time, and laying here finally starting to focus much of the emotion and many of the scattered thoughts of the past few days.  The center of my world has shifted, dear readers, to this adorable little mass of person, and things are never going to be the same!  So you who are permitted, continue to sleep well.  Me....I'm off to another diaper duty.